Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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