this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Such a big mess for such a small penis
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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