you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
