he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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