If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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