We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
