i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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