2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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