Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
