i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
