He is an equal opportunity slut.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
