In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
