Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
