i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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