Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
