fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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