He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
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