@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
