i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
