Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
