didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
