"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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