I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
