i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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