I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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