is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
