There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize