thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
