Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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