and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize