so explain again why im purple
no
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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