So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
