just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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