Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
