dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
