how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
