for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
