hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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