you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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