Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
