It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
