Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
