Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
