It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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