Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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