I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Green mimosas i think yes
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
