in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
