Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We left an ass print on the piano.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
