So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
