Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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