dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
