Your mouth is God's brothel.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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