my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
