you turned your livingroom into a bong?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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