May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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