im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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