who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
its liver damage thursday
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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