Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
