this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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