I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
