I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Randomize