True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
