had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
