yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
