the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize