I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
