soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize