its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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