I just made out with a guy for $7.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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