While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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