Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
