You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
