I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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