at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
