marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize