My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
