I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
