did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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