It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
