Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
