Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize