We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
