I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
