haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
