she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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