Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
