HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
false alarm. still invincible.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
